Friday, October 31, 2014

On Free Stuff, episode one

So a few weeks ago I signed up for Influenster. I saw someone I follow on Tumblr post about it (at least I think that's how this happened) and thought... hmm, okay, there's a chance I can get interesting free stuff out of this, count me in. Now, in exchange, I have to post about whatever I get on social media. Cool tradeoff, far as I'm concerned, and might be enough to make me finally get an Instagram account once I get my new phone (so in a few days). This is, needless to say, the first of those posts that's happening here. If y'all aren't into it, just don't click any of my posts labeled "On Free Stuff" and you'll be fine. The normal content on this blog, if there is anything that can be described as such, will still be here.

Anyways, the way Influenster works is the free things come in these beautiful packages called VoxBoxes. One gets a full-size product and, presumably depending on the thing, a few pieces of extra info. The first VB I got, which came today (hence this post) is Vaseline Intensive Care lotion. As somebody who works retail and mainly deals with personal care products, I should have a good understanding of what size a 10-ounce bottle is, but nope - it's about as long as my hand (and I have really long hands for a lady-type so this is awesome). Now, it's a little silly for me to be using something that's for dry skin considering that I don't have that problem, but this stuff is awesome. It doesn't smell like anything - as someone with occasional sensory issues, this is a plus - and feels amazing. My skin is all nice and squishy-feeling now. Basically, it does what it needs to do, and that's the best I can say. <3

Saturday, October 18, 2014

On Mirrors (part 2 of 2)

Or "I normally hate romance as catalyst for character development but sometimes, especially if a parallel girl is involved, I shamelessly LOVE it".

If you haven't read part one of this, please go do that because I'm picking right up where I left off.

So... TV blogging // reflection time, part two. This time, I'm going to shift gears a little bit and talk a little less about my parallel girl and a little more about romance as a catalyst for character development. Also, fictional darlings one would not expect to have such strong moral compasses. Oh, and sibling personality clashes. And don't worry, the parallel-girl stuff and why I ended up so completely attached to a 17-year-old hurricane girl on a post-apoc show is still here, just... less of a focus.

(As mentioned in the previous post, here there be spoilers, so if you wanna watch cold, exit this page now because I'm analyzing elements of episodes 1x07 and 1x08 of The 100 in as much detail as someone who refuses to rewatch said eps is capable of. There's discussion of darker material here - nothing worse than one might see in an average war movie, but played with appropriate weight. Consider yourself warned.)

1x07 is one of those episodes. Anyone who's gotten heavily into fictional media has those few pieces that they can never put themselves through ever again because their heart cannot handle it. This is a prime example for me, primarily because the main plotline of the ep involves the torture of someone who doesn't deserve it and the strength of the one truly good person in the room. (Yes. You did read all of that right. And this is a show centering around teenagers. Sometimes that does worry me a little.)

It should go without saying that things get blown out of proportion when Octavia gets rescued. The aforementioned older brother? Yeah, at this point his primary "good" personality trait is that he is majorly overprotective. That combined with the fact that a poisoned knife ends up embedded in some part of another person's body (I'm intentionally hazy on details because that character is the human personification of good ideas and bad followthrough and I don't caaare) means that... y'know, taking this mysterious outsider prisoner is a fabulous idea. Never mind that (a.) there is not supposed to be any human life on Earth (there is and most of it is hostile) and (b.) basically every member of that group is (understandably) territorial verging on murderous. Let's torture the only seemingly decent one!!

Obviously, the main point of this exercise in brutality is that Bellamy Blake is an impulsive idiot. By this point in the show, that's a given, and stringing up another human being and whipping them with a slightly modified seatbelt (I am not kidding) is still not the most terrible thing he's done in his life. But, y'know, doing this to find a cure to help someone who can best be described as "useless parasite" is still a bit excessive. Not helping is adorable blonde Clarke, formerly the voice of reason on the show, who encourages this. Or Raven, the parasite's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, who ups the ante with the equivalent of jumper cables. Yes, really. If nothing else, she gets points for being creative.

In the midst of all of this, Octavia is having a crisis. Torture is not a spectator sport, and yet there she is, trying to find a way to stop it because her Person (I'm gonna call him that since his name hasn't been revealed at this point in the episode) does not deserve to have this happen to him. He saved her life. Twice. Yes, he did basically chain her up in a small space, but how was he to know that was going to send her into flashbacks?! He still hasn't said anything, but he seems to understand when she's talking to him and he hasn't done anything to hurt her. Plus, he's pretty and at this point in the game, Octavia's not looking for much more than that. She just doesn't see the point of this.

After yelling at her brother gets her absolutely nowhere, and after watching the jumper cable part of this display, Octavia gets a brilliant idea that I am convinced is the number one reason she is awesome. The aforementioned poisoned knife is sitting on the ground just feet away, and she reasons that since her Person has been protective of her before, he'll show her the antidote if she uses the knife on herself. Which she does, and it's at that point that he finally reacts. Beforehand, despite having an array of unpleasant things done to his own body, he managed to be perfectly stoic and unflinching. The very moment the blade touches her skin, suddenly things are more important. We still don't know this guy's name or anything about him other than that apparently he's some sort of warrior, and even that's questionable, but it's painfully obvious that he cares about her. He saves her, again, because that is what people in love do.

Yes, all of this is headed towards what ends up being the most unexpectedly adorable onscreen relationship I have ever seen (and I've seen more than a few contenders for that honor). But what's important, especially in that buildup, is that Octavia is aware of what she's doing. She is aware that she has power and she can save an innocent life and so fricking help her, that's what she means to do. This is my sacrifice, her eyes say as she hurts herself to make everything stop. This is the least I can do.

And in the aftermath, because our girl continues to be fabulous, she does even better. She is the one who stays and cleans off his wounds and finally, finally, gets actual words out of him. At this point, she's earned it. This is especially important because, as established, Octavia has no basis for what decent human behavior looks like. Until a few weeks ago (at the longest), her only exposure to other people had been her mother (from what little the show gives us, not a great person), her brother (a loose cannon, to put it lightly), and an array of guards who presumably didn't care one way or another about her existence. Her more recent human experiences have included a pair of socially inept tech geniuses and a homicidal twelve-year-old (again, not kidding, this show goes a lot of interesting places), and the two ladytypes who might've been good influences on her have just shown what darkness they're capable of. So why is Octavia different? That's a huge question, and one that (unfortunately) doesn't have a logical answer. The most likely one, however, is that she knows how it feels to be out of place. She bleeds for outsiders because she's one too. And between that and the fact that this guy's clearly got some sort of surprisingly healthy attachment developing towards her... she's going to do the decent human thing because if she is one thing, she is better than her circumstances.

There's one more thing I want to discuss before I tie up this out-of-control reflection, and that's the events of 1x08. After being utterly heartbreaking - and I am still not over this, the darn episode aired five months ago and I am not sure my heart will ever be over it - Octavia decides to do something even more dramatic and let her person go. At this point, the poor dear is still tied up and presumably going to stay there a darn long while. Or not, if his precious ladyperson has anything to say about it, and she does. A brilliant maneuver involving hallucinogenic nuts later (now is a good time to point out that 1x08 is as "light and fluffy" as the show ever gets), he's free. A smarter person would run like hell right away, but Lincoln (yes, he has a name now, and yes, names are weird here) has one little thing to do first. And... cue the kiss that indicates that come hell or high water, these two are a thing. They are a thing and they will stop the world for each other and it is absolutely heart-melting.

I guess the reflection point there for me is that finally, finally, I am idealizing something healthy. It's always weird to look at pairings I heavily ship and note how far those things are from what I actually want to happen to me in real life. Not this one, though. What blossoms out of dark beginnings here is a perfect example of what I'm pretty sure real love is. These darlings are not perfect. They are flawed and complicated and they see those elements of each other and it does not matter because there is also something worth saving. They take risks, they have their quiet moments, there's an intensity to it but also an underlying sweetness. This is the kind of love that needs to be discussed more, because as far as I can tell, it's realistic and it's beautiful. I could definitely idealize worse.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

On Mirrors (part 1 of 2)

Or, "how I saw shades of a common story in an unlikely place".

As the heading of this blog states, I watch more TV than I ought to. For the most part, I watch things that have nothing to do with my life. I list things like Reign and Gossip Girl among my favorites because even in the ridiculous soap opera I often live in, most of those plotlines go places that the people in my world never will. Similarly, I drown in futuristics because my life isn't on that level. Except that this year, that coping mech got blown straight to hell by way of two fictional ladies whose stories are all too similar to my own.

We're not going to talk about the first one yet - that's a post for another time, an evolved version of an essay I wrote a few months ago, and a bit too painful for my current mental space. Sufficient to say, after watching one post-apoc show that featured a ladytype all too much like myself, I convinced myself it was an anomaly. Just one isolated incident, yeah? Oh, if only.

I got talked into watching The 100 because one of my internet friends said I'd like it and, because she is a terrible influence and I love her for it, I figured it was worth a shot. Bunch of teenagers running wild and presumably going for all the obnoxious teen-drama clichés? BRING IT.  Except that's not exactly what happened. What could've been a godawful love triangle got killswitched, fail!parenting was averted, the platonic relationships were every bit as interesting as the romantic ones if not even more so in some cases, and... there, in the middle of it all, was a character I related to far more than I wanted to.

(The rest of this post contains spoilers abundant for the first season, so stop reading now if you don't want to know the entire plotline of a secondary character. Or, alternatively, keep reading because this is something that - had I known about it - would've made me that much more interested in watching.)

From the very moment she makes her onscreen debut, Octavia Blake is - if nothing else - one to keep an eye on. Most of the titular 100 are in the situation they're in because of something they did; Octavia's only crime was her existence. And while that's established early on, the details don't kick in until episode 6, by which time she's managed to annoy the living daylights out of everyone else who has a name and presumably most of the background kids as well, make her sexual debut with someone who ends up dead two days later (for reasons having nothing to do with her and everything to do with acid rain), attempt to have some time alone and get lost in the process, and get "captured" by something that isn't supposed to exist. (I used quotation marks there because the situation and motivations are more complicated than they initially seem - all will be explained later, I promise.) Quite a run for someone who, at that point, has done absolutely nothing to move the overall plot forward unless you count giving her older brother a perpetual migraine. But... then said backstory kicks in and suddenly the most irritating character on a show full of 'em is the most sympathetic.

I did not expect a particular character's background to resonate with me. The main reason I watch questionable teen dramas is because that doesn't happen. But all rules have exceptions, and this was one of them. I wish I'd been more surprised. As revealed in flashbacks (sidenote - The 100 does flashbacks really well, and I say this as a person who usually hates them), Octavia spent the first sixteen years in the confines of her family's living space, and a good portion of that in a barely-human-sized hole in the floor. No wonder the girl we see in the show's main timeline is so over-the-top and reckless - she's finally free and she's got a lot of life to catch up on. And that's when it hit me. Here, on a post-apoc teen drama - one of the last places one would expect to find such a thing - was a story that finally paralleled my own experience within the homeschool community, not to mention the common thread of others who can only be called survivors.

It resonated in a been-there-done-that sort of way. Yeah, maybe my experience wasn't on par with some of the horror stories one can easily read elsewhere on the internets (a different rabbit-trail that has little to do with this post so no links for y'all today), but it still mirrored. I'd been one of the lucky ones - the option to participate in the normal world had been offered, at least. But as an introvert with unnoticed depressive tendencies, not to mention a few well-deserved trust issues and a natural tendency towards being a loner, I didn't take them. Until I was eighteen, every activity I participated in was, if not explicitly homeschool-centric, at least had a majority of kids like me.

You know the funny thing? I've never felt more alone than when I am among people who've had those "shared experiences", because I'm not like them either. All the ones I knew growing up, at least the girls, were either academic prodigies or musically gifted (with one notable exception who is now thankfully - and hopefully permanently - out of my hair). I'm neither of those things, and I don't have a superiority complex the size of fricking Australia or weird moral standards either, so... involuntary lone wolf status among people who should've adored me. Weird how that happens.

Anyways, back to the story that resonated all too well and why I think it's powerful. One of the great things about The 100 is that, with either one or two exceptions depending on how one feels about a particular irritating cockroach of a character, everyone gets positive character development over the course of the first season. Octavia, obviously, has an interesting starting point compared to everyone else and a bit further to go towards becoming a genuinely decent human. Or... not. At the end of episode 6 (the one with the flashbacks interspersed with current-timeline!her being chained up in a cave), she gets rescued. What's the first thing she does? Attempts to tell her brother and the rest of the rescue party not to hurt her "captor". (Again, quotation marks, and this time an explanation - at the beginning of this little plotline, girl fell down a hill, and the person who found her did what he did for her own good. Even more context later - this thing's running away from me.) Why? Because she knows what it's like to be in an undeserved situation and she wouldn't wish that on anyone. But, because tiny inexperienced girl, no one listens to her. Their loss.

((To be continued - this is long enough as it is, and there are still two more episodes to be discussed in explaining why this means so much to me...))

Monday, October 13, 2014

On New Beginnings

Or, "new web address, same general purpose".

I think this is the final incarnation of my "real life" blog. Figured it was high time to migrate to a platform that has, among other things, a user-friendly comments function. After the last post on the Tumblr incarnation (which is also the only post from that blog that's been cross-posted on this one - switching formats is way easier said than done), I decided it was high time to go for it. So... here we are. Same general concept, slightly different web address.

I'm also trying to update more. Trying as in watch me fail, but trying nonetheless. I have a lot left to process... only problem is where to begin. (Thoughts, anyone?)