I know I post a lot of negative stuff on this blog. I guess that's mostly because I'm still at a point where a lot of negative stuff is happening to me, and writing my way through it helps. (There's a post I want to do right now about jealousy, and another about the first heartbreak of 2015, but now is not the time.) Right now, however, I'm still thinking about something really good that happened to me last week - and, by extension, a friendship that's gotten me through the last three years.
Funny thing is, when I first started talking to Olivia at some point during summer 2012, I was kinda using her. At the time, we had a few mutual friends who'd recently broken up after a fairly serious relationship, and I was curious as to why. One of said people had zero contact with the outside world that summer, and the other one... in hindsight, was not a good person, but at the time, was just bad at disclosing details. So, because I am unstoppable when I'm curious and because as far as I could tell the relationship in question had been utterly bulletproof, I started reaching out to anyone who might know what had happened. Olivia was connected enough to be a viable resource, except that she... wasn't. She knew even less than I did, actually, although she was equally worried about the little dingbats. (And in hindsight, who wouldn't have been??)
But then something happened. We got to talking a bit more, and... turned out our backgrounds were pretty darn similar. Misplaced 19-year-old girls who'd grown up in super-religious communities and weren't sure what we were and wanted love and acceptance more than anything. Add in the unique experience of having grown up in small-town Indiana, and... WELL. A friendship was born.
Over the years that followed, we've been through stuff. Liv had what she generally refers to as the Valentine's Day From Hell, which I do not remember despite the fact that I know I attempted to be helpful at some point during the fallout, and realized that what she wanted to do wasn't what she'd originally thought. I continued to have depressive spirals, also realized that my plans were not working, and valiantly tried to walk away from just about everything. Through this, we've been a support system for each other. Honestly, at this point, we've stood by each other through too much to ever walk away.
So, finally meeting her in person. I guess part of me was worried that she wouldn't be as awesome in the physical world as she is online. If anything, she's more awesome. She has an infectious smile, she's affectionate, and she makes the world a brighter place. In the space of five minutes, we went from talking about our bad experiences within organized religion to using her phone to look up military bases in Alaska for a teensy bit of background info for this writing thing we're working on. We talked childhood traumas (mine are slightly more epic than hers) and fandom calamities (no show that either of us has ever watched has gotten BETTER after the introduction of a sentient morally-dark-gray AI). We had an extended convo about how Parks & Rec perfectly captures small-town Indiana life but it really needed a good episode about deer season because seriously. It was the most natural, comfortable few hours I've had in a long time.
Point being, Liv is amazing and I'm a better person because of her consistent, solid, supportive presence in my life. Three years down, (hopefully) a lifetime to go.
Song of the day - "Long Live", Taylor Swift.
